How Touching Your Pain will Up-Level Your Life: A Lesson in Authentic Healing
Healers up-level their life by touching their pain, feeling and releasing it, and then choosing healthier thoughts, beliefs and actions. Interested in leveling up? Let me show you why avoiding, stuffing and/or numbing your pain will only hurt more and how being open to feeling it will take you on a transformational journey of healing.
Being a student of authentic healing has been a warrior’s path. I’ve learned that avoiding, stuffing and/or trying to numb my pain only leads to more pain, deeper wounds and longer lasting suffering. The pain that sits under the surface of the happy mask I put on rots there. When I fake it, I feel good for a moment and then the infection spreads and I realize I’ve made a mistake by not addressing it the first time it reared it’s head for attention. It’s now going to take more energy, effort and courage than I might have wanted to give.
This goes for physical, mental and/or emotional pain. And since one doesn’t exist without the others, when you address any of these, you’re going to be addressing all of them, whether you realize it or not. But that’s a good thing, if you’re awake for it.
Authentic healing means feeling everything, learning how to release it, and then choosing healthier thoughts, beliefs and actions. It’s an awareness game. And only those who’re brave enough will understand the rewards of this difficult, sometimes excruciating journey. Ready to be brave?
When I decided I wanted out of my marriage the pain I’d been tolerating up until that day sat under the surface, mostly in the center of my chest, for months, possibly years. It had been slowly suffocating me by shrink wrapping my heart. When the tightness started to get a little stronger and I had to start calling it pain, I envisioned a trip to the ER, and that shook me awake. I had to do something.
Being a healer and all, I already knew the answer to that something I had to do. Not only was I going to have to touch and feel that pain, but I was going to have to fully feel it, to the point I could express it, and then release it. I was then going to have to take the action I knew I needed to make a change. The pain wasn’t settling for the clever way I’d kept it safe and tidy anymore. It wasn’t settling for my settling.
Funny how things have to get so painful they’re screaming before we do anything about them. Funny how your house has to burn down before you realize all the ways it was slowly catching fire.
The day I felt choked, suffocating from the feelings, the ones I’d crammed back down into my throat, denying them a healing voice, was the day I started fighting for my life. I’d love it if I could help you with a way to feel, release and heal, before you start getting choked to death. So here are some ways you can do this authentic healing thing and up-level your life now, before your house burns down:
- Practice feeling. And I’m here to tell you that some days you’ll need help. So do the awareness, and sometimes do it with a healer or coach. You’ll be up-leveling with the assistance.
- Reach out. This practice isn’t for sissies and you don’t need to do it alone. Be brave and ask for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Find a tribe or create a tribe. A tribe can be two people by the way. When you reach out you up-level because the energy expands and grows.
- Integrate mind and body. Realize every emotion has a physical manifestation in the body and start integrating by being aware of the connections and practicing both body and thought awareness. When you integrate you immediately up-level by going holistic.
- Be brave. This road is difficult. You’ll be touching and feeling deep wounds. You’ll be facing your fears. You’ll be thinking, saying and doing things that paralyzed you before. But you’re up-leveling, so fear is now your compass. Be afraid and do it anyway.
- Speak up. Say and write what’s in your head. When you take your awareness to the next level by being out loud about what you think and believe your purpose begins to unfold before you. It becomes real when it’s out loud. Try it with a friend first, and then expand to writing that blog, or saying what you need to say to that co-worker. Do it with love, compassion and kindness, moving the words from your heart to your tongue. But speak it up; automatic up-level and transformational action tool.
- Take action. This is the biggest up-leveler and game changer of all. And notice, all the steps before this were actually action steps. So instead of thinking about all this stuff, try doing it. The moment you take action you’re stepping on the path, rather than standing still at the starting line waiting for the gun to go off. Your mind will never shoot the gun. You have to act despite the thoughts. You have to do it afraid.
It’s time to do this. The world needs you to be brave now more than ever. It’s not time for excuses or to stay paralyzed. It’s time to be a warrior. It’s time to go for bigger love. It’s time. Join me?
This post previously appeared on Laura's blog.
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