Changing Change During the Holidays
As our families change, so do our feelings. It may be the first Holiday when you are dealing with doubt, mistrust, anger or blame after divorce, separation. Or maybe that happened years ago, but you're still triggered by the Holiday dance of events: who is going with which parent, who is going to give that inappropriately expensive gift, or who isn't going to have the same rules and boundaries at their house during the Holiday visit?
You may be experiencing financial setbacks, sending you into a blame-shame spin cycle when you think about the obligation of gift giving. You may simply be dealing with Holiday induced anxiety and stress from what has become a much too busy and commercialized time of the year - and you could be watching your children experience some of these same feelings.
To help deal with these emotions, we suggest creating a family "Let's Change...Change" Ritual.
Change can make us feel out of control, and stir up the most difficult feelings to deal with it. While we might be able to ride it out at other times of the year – change can be TOTALLY in our face at the holidays.
During the holidays, we are thinking about what we want to be different in the new year; we are thinking of how our families have changed during the past year; we are thinking of why our family doesn't have what the other one on the block has...and the list goes on. It's part of this time of year.
So let's shift the way we look at change during the holidays. Here's a way for you to empower yourself and your family this season.
- If you haven't yet...watch this video...and watch with your family.
- Have everyone in your family start collecting their change for something they want to change in their life, or the life of others.
- Talk about the things you want to give to, which gives you the opportunity to really see and hear the other members of your family.
- Keep saving and giving throughout the year. Every time you give the change away...fill your bank back up...and keep giving to whatever cause you would like next.
Why not change the meaning of change into something positive, empowering, enlightening, and helpful?
It's a way for intentions to match outcomes, and change some not so Happy Holiday feelings into actionable change.