The 3 Keys to Changing Your Story
Are you ready to change your story?
Sounds so simple, but that was where I started. I needed to tell myself and the world a new version.
I had a very interesting conversation with a dear friend last night. I was sharing some good news about my coaching practice. It's new. It's forming. And I have made some progress recently. She was cheering me on. She said, "Did I ever tell you my first impression of you? I came in to your workplace and you were literally sitting in the corner of the room. Your head was down and you didn't want to be seen."
Oh, that hit home, and I was flooded with emotion, remembering the me of almost 20 years ago. I was not ready to change my story back then. In fact it was another 10 years or so before I was able to begin to want to change my story. That was where I was stuck, head down in the corner.
Somewhere about 10 years ago, as I was approaching 50, I was getting ready to change my story. I say getting ready, because I was scared. My story had been my shield. I hid behind the story I created about how unlovable I was to myself and others. If they only knew the monster I was inside, they could not possibly love or even like me. So I portrayed the person I thought they would like. It was exhausting. A point came when I was spent and had nowhere else to go, except to ask for some help. I was ready to want to change my story.
Here are three things that helped me change my story.
1. Asking for support.
This was super new and frightening to me. I didn't ask for help, I gave help. I tested the waters with small things and was given the support I needed. I choose wisely as luck would have it, and asked for support from those who were trustworthy people. I choose to ask for support from people who had what I wanted.
2. Imagine the life you want.
When I started, I could not possibly imagine a life that included joy, purpose, meaning, trials, laughter, failure, perseverance, risk, community and hope. I longed for those and more. I started to ask myself, but what if I could have more in my life? Then I was I able to imagine a new life. My dream was very small at first. It has continued to grow and morph as I do.
3. Taking risks.
By far, the biggest risks I have ever taken have been emotional. Letting myself be vulnerable and seen was like standing naked in front of millions judgy people. Again, I started small, with those that were trustworthy and emotionally solid. Some, I found, were already in my inner circle, and some I had yet to meet.
Are you getting ready to change your story? Ask for help, start to imagine what it could look and feel like, and take a risk. Start with one. What can you do today to rewrite your story and start to live YOUR life ? Begin today.