You have worth, you are lovable and anything's possible.
Everyone has a default, manifesting in mood, posture, attitude, and energy. Derived from beliefs about yourself and your story. It's your go-to when things aren't going well.
Many of us have shitty defaults. Let's face it. Stale. Rounded shoulders. Heavy eyes. Nothing's ever going to happen to me. My life sucks balls. This is as good as it's ever going to get. Basically I've given up on life.
There's a reason why this is the default for many.
Life is fucking hard.
We don't grow up in safe containers. We're faced with challenges daily, most that we don't have any control over. We're only fifty percent of any relationship so even if we were "perfect", it's still a coin toss. Our world has programmed us to want things that are difficult to come by. We only compare ourselves to those who look better or have more.
As where your eyes go will determine the direction of the motorcycle, your default will determine the quality of your life.
Read that sentence again because the chances of you having a fulfilling life with a shitty default is slim to none.
If you're miserable right now, instead of complaining, being angry at the world, and feeling sorry for yourself, examine your default. Not what's on the surface, but rather your beliefs. If you don't like yourself, fine. Most of us don't like ourselves.
Building worth and self love is a process and it starts with a choice to start that process. There are different ways in and you decide which door you want to kick down.
But if you think life or people owe you something, I don't care if you're right or wrong, the result of that type of thinking will position you to feel ripped off, angry, and resentful, which sets you up for a negative energy sucking "why me" default. And like the motorcycle mentioned above, your life will go in that direction.
You can't go right if you are always looking left. Your career will be at a stand still. Your relationships will suffer. And your potential to make any kind of dent in this universe will deflate like a shotgun to a hot air balloon.
But what if you can't change it? What if you tried?
There is no try. There is only awareness and choices. If you're not aware, none of this will make sense to you so go back to your cookies. But if you are aware of how your internal positioning is positioning yourself in life, choose to destroy it.
Believe in something different and what you will attract will change. Not because of some universal law or Oprah says so. Your thoughts manifest in behavior which gives you an experience. If you don't like your current one, change your thoughts and thinking, and you will have a different one.
There's nothing more convincing than an experience and giving yourself a different one, and I emphasize giving yourself because many think they have no control over the experiences they have, will lead to more positive beliefs and ways of thinking. About yourself. Others. The world. And slowly, your default will crack.
As you shift your internal belief system, you will no longer walk like a caveman. You will no longer bring everyone down. You will no longer think the world owes you something. You will no longer be holding on for apologies that never come. You will be less afraid. You may snap back once in a while because we are all like rubber bands but the force of that snap will be less and less until you realize your new default.
You have worth, you are lovable, and anything's possible.
- John Kim, The Angry Therapist